With the recent news of Trey Pennington’s suicide I have been reading a lot of posts from people that knew him well, one gentleman called himself a strong acquaintance, to people that followed him and felt like they knew him.
My heart and sympathy goes out to his family, loved ones and those that call him friend, I am so sorry for your loss.
I did not know Trey, I did not know of him or follow him but the odd thing was he connected with me on twitter last week, I followed back and when I saw the news I remembered him… (and yes I know, it more than likely would have been automatic follow software that connected us).
Katey was 17 years old walking home from work when she came across a Girl sitting on the bridge, something did not seem right so she walked towards her and as she got closer she could see the Girl had a rope around her neck tied to the bridge… Katey started talking, listening, connecting… Katey was able to convince the Girl to allow her to call one person… Luke, and together they were able get the rope off of her neck and away from the bridge. I wonder how many people had already walked past the Girl before Katey…
Bankruptcy suicides. When you go through bankruptcy it is very, very painful and unless you have been there… You have no idea of the devastation and hopelessness that it can cause a previously strong, confidant, secure person. And it is not about the money !!!! it has NOTHING to do with the money, it is about the present feeling of failure, the shame that other people attach to bankruptcy, it is about watching your family no longer able to buy food, have birthday parties, own a car, buy a birthday gift… It is about your teenage children moving out of home because you can no longer afford a home big enough for all of you to live in comfortably. It is about watching your family suffer… they are happy, positive, supportive, in love with you, defending you, powerfully adjusting to the change, but still you struggle to shake loose the overwhelming sense of hopelessness.
As a young girl growing up and having been repeatedly sexually abused over the majority of my innocent years, there were many times I contemplated suicide, the thing is, as many of us know, when we are seriously considering suicide we do not tell ANYONE. We will not call you and begin to chat about how we are feeling, we will not post on FB or anywhere else how we are feeling, it is not attention that we are seeking, we, just, want, to, make, the, pain, stop…
In my many years of pastoring I listened held the hands of, and cried with people who had been left behind by a suicide victim… too many to count. They had this simple statement in common; “I never saw the signs, if only they had said something… but looking back I can see…”
So who do we blame? No-One, blame is a one way street to Nowhere and will not help anyone!
What do we do? We listen, we notice, we engage, we love, we care, we do, we take time to be present!
What don’t we do? Presume, dismiss our intuition, look away, think “It’s none of my business”, pretend everything is ok, think “This will pass”, judge.
I would love to hear your thoughts too,
With much love always, Deb
“Every 3.5 hours an Australian takes their own life. Every 8 minutes a person attempts suicide” ~ WINGS Of Hope
Founded in 2007, WINGS of Hope, the voice of people bereaved by suicide, is a registered harm prevention charity providing education, resourced and support events for people bereaved by suicide.
“As anyone who has been close to someone that has committed suicide knows, there is no other pain like that felt after the incident” ~ Peter Greene
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